It’s just a couple of dates in and you are finding yourself very attracted to them.
On paper it’s a great match. They are funny, flirty, sexy.
You are getting along well.
Yet there is a little voice inside that feels uneasy. Something is not quite right here.
“Shhhh” you tell it, “don’t ruin a good thing!”
The relationship continues and before long you are involved. Lives intertwined.
And then things start going horribly wrong.
Arguments and fights about the ways you are incompatible.
They want one thing, you want something else and no matter how much you talk about it, it’s still a problem.
The unease grows into full blown anxiety. You are a wreck, constantly on edge. Nothing feels ok… and yet you fight on.
“Shhh, don’t ruin it… I’ve invested too much already”
Months pass, even years, until one day… defeated… it comes to an end. Sometimes children have been birthed, houses bought. It’s messy.
Broken, you go about picking up the pieces of your life in an attempt to start again.
The most painful thing is… you knew all along that it wasn’t right.
In this issue of Deep Intimacy we are going to discuss the power of intuition, and how listening to that quiet voice inside of us has the ability to alleviate so much potential pain and suffering.
True, sometimes we need these types of relationships to learn a lesson.
And sometimes that lesson is to learn to trust ourselves.
Welcome to Issue #02 of the Deep Intimacy Newsletter
We are so glad that you are choosing to dive deeper with us on this journey, and we are excited to be refining and developing this newsletter every issue in service of YOU and greater love on the planet.
In this issue:
Pragmatic Explorations: Intuition in Attachment & Polarity
Mystical Musings: Love or Fear
Guided Intuition Meditation
Hesitation & Recklessness
Intuition is a quiet inner knowing that tells us what is safe for us and what is not.
When we listen to it, life moves in alignment… and when we don’t, life takes us into painful experiences to ‘learn’ to listen better.
The ways in which we can ignore this knowing tend to show up in two ways: hesitation and recklessness.
A failure to heed our intuition creates an unease in the body. A restless discomfort or sense that something is wrong.
Over time unease grows into anxiety.
The anxiety is a signal telling us that something is out of alignment, and the longer we ignore it, the stronger it grows.
To hesitate is to hold back on taking any action to rectify the unease. This is a passive way to ignore one’s intuition.
For those with a more anxious attachment, this is the way in which one would stay in an unhealthy relationship out of fear of being alone or suffering the pain of heartbreak.
Whilst those with a more avoidant attachment may hesitate to call it off from fear of hurting the other… or even sometimes hesitate with one foot out the door fearing the intensity of commitment (which is like adding kerosene to the anxiety of a relationship ~ yes we can also ignore our intuition about good things too!)
Recklessness, on the other hand, is a tendency towards rapid unconsidered decisions stemming from the discomfort and tension of staying in the unknown.
Like saying “yes” to a proposal when you mean no, or letting that person have sex with you when your body doesn’t want it, or pursuing that affair even though you know it’s wrong, or suddenly ending a relationship because it was getting too intimate.
Either way, the underlying current of ignoring our intuition is rooted in fear.
Fear of the future and all the unknowns it brings.
You can’t ever know the repercussions of what any choice will bring.
And the only guidance we have… is that little quiet voice that we must learn to trust.
Strength, Presence & Intuition
Our model of intimacy is based upon the notion that a relationship, as it becomes conscious, becomes it’s own organism that is composed of two (or sometimes more) individuals.
One of the ways this organism, the couple, generates energy is through conscious polarity.
What this means is that we intentionally inhabit certain qualities or attributes, which tend to be characterised as ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’, in order to allow energy to flow within the relationship and unlock all kinds of gifts and potentials.
For the purposes of this discussion, we might say that intuition is a more feminine quality (and yes of course we all have it)… and so is the unease and anxiety that arises when this quality is not trusted.
It’s not a big stretch to notice how intuitive women are!
Many women can have urges or impulses related to the future, particularly in relationship, and what is going to be beneficial for the health of the couple.
For example, I am right now sitting in my new office in the new house Katie and I just moved in to after coming home from a four day workshop.
I am happy beyond words.
I lOVE this house, and the workshop we went to was so powerful for us and our relationship.
And the thing is… Katie had the intuition that both of these things would be beneficial for us.
Yet I actually resisted both of these things at first, until I remembered that Katie’s intuition is so potent, even when she doesn’t quite understand why she is feeling the impulse.
There are two powerful masculine counterparts that support and enhance feminine intuition and, as a result, can unlock incredible abundance and thriving for a couple.
Strength and Presence.
When the masculine turns his attention, his presence, towards the feminine she naturally and almost immediately comes into a place of coherence.
Like the way a quantum wave becomes a particle when we observe it (for you physics nerds).
When I brought my attention towards Katie’s feelings about this house and this workshop everything started naturally flowing. She was able to hear the signal that was speaking a direction to us, and all I had to do was be the presence allowing this signal to amplify.
Masculine strength on the other hand is about energy directed towards outcome. Once the signal became loud enough for us to know that this was the correct direction for us, strength bursts onto the scene carving a path through reality into outcome.
To both move house and attend the workshop, there were many things that needed to be worked out. Decisions about finances, priorities, timing and logistics. Strength is the masculine force that moves us through any obstacle in the way until we arrive at our destination. So here we are… our life feels like it has gone through a radical upgrade, we are living in the best house either of us have ever lived in, our love is getting even deeper, and everything feels correct.
Intuition, Presence and Strength weaving together to create abundance.
I love the spiritual teaching that shares that we have two lenses in which we can experience life: love or fear.
When we operate from the lens of love we have clarity and divine knowing.
When we operate from the lens of fear we have anxiety and unease.
I like to think of the human as a super computer with these two distinct operating systems available to navigate our human experience.
In gene keys we call the ‘fear’ OS the Shadow and the ‘love’ OS the Siddhi.
In the fear state our programs emerge from the foundational code of forgetting.
We feel disconnected from our infinite nature and thus are motivated by death avoidance through the need to survive.
This operating system is connected to the amygdala, the reptilian brain. It creates a steady release of stress hormones as it lives life preoccupied with threat detection. This state hijacks the body and we can’t hear the subtler resonant sounds of our natural instincts, our divine impulses.
In the Siddhic state our programs are generated from the foundational code of remembrance.
We recognise our at-one-ment with the light of many names - God/ Brahman/ Allah/Universe/Consciousness.
We move from safety, our nervous system is relaxed, our body is calm and open. Somatic information from this state is guidance from our greater awareness directing us through gut instincts, inner knowing and signals from the body.
Change your state change your life
The gift in Gene Keys is like the bridge between fear and love. There are so many different ways to change your state and two of the most simple and valuable ones I have found for my experience are:
Gratitude ~ Fear can’t exist where gratitude is present
Resonance ~ We become the environment we play in. If we want to rest in love we simply surround ourselves with others that want to do the same.
To live in love is to tune into the divine knowing that I am, present in every moment.
Intuition: Guided Meditation
It has been a HUGE time for us, with moving and more… but like mentioned above, our new house is so perfect for our needs (still unpacking and busy on the furniture hunt!) and we can’t wait to get busy in the garden as well as settle in to more consistency and rhythm.
Thank you so much for being here with us on this journey 🙏🏻⚡️🌹